Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My adventure at the dentist

Good evening yall. I had an exciting time at the dentist this morning and thought I'd share with all of you. This will be long, but I think it's worth sharing. First of all, my appointment to get 2 cavities filled was at 7am this morning. I am NOT a morning person, but this appointment allowed me to take less time off work (actually, no time off work--I made it to the office at my regular time). Naturally I'm almost hyperventillating when I get there. You think with my fear of all things dentistry I'd brush and floss better, but nope, I don't.

I get in the chair of death, I mean the patient chair. I'm shaking because I'm freezing, but I'm sweating profusely at the same time. You can tell I live in the South because today is camo day at the office. The dentist and other employees wear matching scrubs. I've been there on LSU day, but this was the first time for me to see them all in camoflauge scrubs. I'm not gonna say the name of my dentist on my blog cuz I didn't ask his permission, but he really is the best ever. I told him that I've had 2 c-sections and that honestly he scares me more than childbirth, which is true. He puts the medicated cotton in my mouth to get ready for the you know what. I ask him if it's too late for the gas and he says no, they can hook it all up while the numbing cotton does the best it can to prepare my gums for what's coming. Well, he didn't say anything about the doing it's best to prepare blah, but anyway.

So I get the lovely mask with tubes coming out everywhere. I take in breaths so deep you'd think I hadn't had oxygen in a month. I learned a few tips on how to get stronger gas.
1 - tell them you've had better elsewhere, in my case at the oral surgeon's office. my dentist will not pull my teeth. that's smart of him.
2 - work really hard to carry on important grown up conversations while you should actually be loopy. this takes work, but it's worth it. the more i could talk, the more she was thinking i needed a little more.
3 - mention again how freaked out you are.

So the gas seemed a little stronger than normal, which I really needed. I'm staring at the popcorn ceiling, trying to daydream, when the Scooby-Doo moment of the visit happened. You know when the old Schooby-Doo cartoon is coming on how the big scary monster is coming towards them with his arms up in the air? Well, I see this big shadowy monster coming towards me and I hear a chainsaw crank up. I kid you not, this is not a dream. Then I realize that today is lawn maintenance day at the office and it's just the man with the leafblower outside the big picture window. I'm still trying to distract myself from the upcoming nightmare, so I decide the dentist can be the blond dude, the assistant who's going through my chart can be Thelma, yeah, this is not gonna work.

The older couple who got called back right before me is walking out now. The exam rooms are not really rooms, but just open spaces coming off the hallway (in other words, no privacy). I think the man was the one getting dental work and the woman was the wife taking care of him. As she's walking out, she comes to talk to the assistant who's babysitting me to make sure I don't run out the back door. Here's their conversation.

Old Lady: Did you put her to sleep?
Thelma: No, she's not asleep. (Note--MY EYES ARE OPEN!)
Old Lady: Then what did you do to her?
Thelma: We just gave her the gas to help calm her down.
Old Lady: But it doesn't knock her out?
Thelma: No, it just makes them dizzy.

Yep, I heard it all. Then the dentist comes. He gives me the shots. I have a hard time with this part. I tense up for the entire shot process. The third time he sticks the pointy part in (can't say the N word), it hurts and I feel blood. Oh, how I wish I could pass out. Instead I just say Ow Ow Ow the best I can with the mask on and the sharp object and suction thingy in my mouth. He does his drilling thing for a minute and asks if I'm ok. I say I am, but the cold water is a little sensitive. He asks if I'm hurting and I tell him no, but I'm all tensed up and waking until I do start hurting, just in case.

It's over with pretty soon and they take my precious mask away. They make me sit there a few minutes, then let me pay my money and go on my way. I know the dentist is there to help me and I really do think he is great. I told him I think the reason I am so freaked out is because unlike a c-section, he's right in my face and I can't help but see and hear what he's doing.

So that's how my appointment went today. I don't have to go back until my next cleaning in May. Hopefully I won't have any cavities. I'm gonna try not to spend the next 5 months worrying about it. I'm taking the day off tomorrow for my echocardiogram at 9am and then a day of fun with Aunt Pat! I'm a little worried about the echo. I don't know why, but I'm kinda worried they might find something. Of course I won't go back to the cardiologist to get the results until the middle of February. Hopefully it'll come back and say that they were right--I just have a garden variety tachycardia, nothing to worry about. Thanks to all my imaginary friends for always being there to listen to me. Yall have a good evening!


aunt pat said...

I'm gonna have to find out who works in your dentists office so I can tell them to read your blog. It is hilarious. I can just hear them. I'm glad they didn't have a heart monitor connected to you this morning. They probably would have called for an ambulance. I can't wait til tomorrow.

Steph said...

LOL I agree - childbrith over dentist ANY day of the week, thanks for sharing, made me chuckle x